Amazing Grace

Last night I led devotional chanting at a spiritual community in a nearby city. There were about twenty or so people there, really grooving on singing love songs to Spirit in many languages and from many faiths. I felt like I was splashing in a fountain of joy as the sound of the voices and an array of instruments filled the space.

What the group may not have realized, as we were enjoying a couple of hours of bliss together, was that during the hour-long drive in the car on the way there, I had been complaining to my husband non-stop about all the things that I thought were wrong with my life--what wasn't going well, who and what were the sources of my disappointment (as if disappointment is caused by something external), and so on. I will spare you the gory details. Let it suffice to say that I had a real self-pity fest for about sixty miles. Doug was great at giving me empathy, and suggesting new ways to look at areas where I felt stuck. But I was resistant-- I really wanted to wallow in it and milk it for all it was worth, while I had him captive in the car.

And then, we had a job to do, so out of necessity I had to dip into the reservoir of love that was inside me and become that. It's amazing how we can do that when we are called to do so.

During the singing I noticed one woman who seemed to have a glow about her. I'll call her "K." She had a radiant smile, infectious enthusiasm, and a sense of deep peace that emanated from her. I was drawn to her energy and went up to speak with her afterward. One thing that is very interesting about K is that she is blind and deaf. She explained to me that she had gone blind at an early age (in one eye due to a doctor's mistake as a result of a botched laser surgery procedure, and a few years later in the other eye due to a degenerative condition). Then, one day she woke up and suddenly found herself deaf. It had happened overnight. She now has limited hearing only in one ear with the help of a cochlear implant. In order for her to hear, others need to speak into a transmitter that relays the signal to her ear.

K also told me that, after she lost her sight and her hearing, she was seriously injured in an automobile accident and almost died. It took her years to recover from the physical injuries she sustained.

Despite her challenges, K works as a massage therapist. Her sense of touch is not impaired in the least, and I got the sense that she is a skilled and sensitive bodyworker. She also is an athlete.

What is amazing to me is that despite her physical challenges, she is completely upbeat and positive. She talks about her condition with absolutely no hint of resentment or self-pity in her voice. Now, if anyone were to have a chronically negative outlook on life, I would think that someone with such "heavy karma" would have a lot to complain about. There is much to potentially wallow in there. But K was more positive, alive, and energetically clear than most "normal" people I know.

This was one of those slap-in-the-face experiences that totally burst my "poor me" bubble. Poof! Gone! I saw all the things that I had been kvetching about in the car just dissolve in the light of this woman's spiritual presence.

I am in a completely different space today. Often we never know how we touch others, how simply our presence and loving hearts can be deeply inspiring and healing to another person. Perhaps K will never know the impact she had on me last night. My experience with her is not one I am likely to forget. and perhaps next time I get sunk in a snarly emotional place, her image will come back to me as a reminder of what the human heart/spirit is capable of, no matter what happens in our lives. Truly Amazing Grace.

I would love to hear from others about people who have inspired you in the same way, and about unexpected meetings with people who have shifted your perspective.

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content. ~Helen Keller