The “I” of the Storm

This morning in meditation, I sit with the age-old question, “Who am I?”

Not that I am trying to get a definitive answer—spiritual teacher Adyashanti tells us that the question “who am I?” is not designed to get an answer, but rather to dissolve the questioner.

As I sit in stillness with “who am I?” circling gently like an eagle in the sky of my awareness, an image comes to me. It is the image of changing weather patterns. Snow, changing to sleet, changing to rain, then clouds giving way to a shining sun.

If I were to ask, “What is Ithaca, New York?” I couldn’t answer snowy, or sunny, or rainy, or cold, or muggy. It is all of those things, and none of those things alone. There isn’t any one weather report that encapsulates the whole picture of Ithaca.

My aliveness is also a changing weather report of sorts—sometimes stormy, rainy, balmy, sweltering, mild. As I sit in meditation, I see an image of myself as a storm system, perhaps a hurricane or tornado. Just a movement of swirling energy, emotions, thoughts, feelings, life force (Prana, in the Yogic tradition), ideas, creativity—all just passing through.

My job is to bring my awareness to the place in the Center, the eye, where there is calm and spaciousness, rather than being whipped around in the whirlwind of emotion, thought, etc. My practice is to stay in the Center, where I can calmly view all these changing winds from a vantage point of stillness and peace. Sitting in the eye of the storm—that is what it means to be “centered.”

Now, the question remains: Who is it that sits in the Center? Who is it that is watching the whirling energy? This is the next layer of inquiry…

Later, I share these thoughts with a neighbor of mine, and he refers to me as “Hurricane Jody.” It’s a funny image, and often a true one, as I blow through my world with thoughts and emotions frenetically spinning, sometimes leaving messes that I later have to go back and clean up.

I’d like to think that my spiritual practice is mitigating some of the damage I do as I pass through, that I’m not just a destructive wind, but also an eye, a center, an oasis of peace. And, as I move through time and space, I invite others to dwell in that peace, to join me in living from the Center.

Sometimes we may get sucked in by centrifugal force into the dramas, fears, addictive behaviors, and confusion of human existence, but that calm Center is always inviting us back.

Divine Spirit, may I live in peace today, in the centered stillness that is my true nature, and may the stillness I cultivate be a living invitation to others to join me there.

Thank you for this wonderful opportunity to practice.